Overcoming Obstacles One Centimeter at a Time

When I was younger, I could not wait for Christmas. In fact, it was that way for any holiday, special event or trip. I would count down the days, focusing solely for the event to arrive. The anticipation would almost get the best of me. In fact, I have often said that when God was passing out patience, I was double fisting it in the sarcasm line! Patience most definitely has not been my best virtue.

I have often thought that my desire to have things now, may be closely tied to my drive and determination in my professional career. Sometimes I feel that I work as hard as I do because I don't want to have to wait for the results that I desire. I want things the way that I want them...and I want them NOW. The down side of this is that I am my own worst critic. I often condemn myself for not accomplishing enough, fast enough, or good enough.

I say this because this past week officially marked my "hump day" of chemotherapy. I am at the halfway point of the 16 week treatment protocol. I have to admit it has been difficult sometimes to view this halfway point as the "glass half full" and not the "glass half empty."

I have been anxiously awaiting this week as I was able to get an MRI to check the size and status of the tumor. As much as I tried to not let my impatience get the best of me, there was in the back of my mind, a slight hope that miraculously the tumor would be gone and I would be able to finish chemo early and quickly get back to my former life.

I got the call Friday afternoon from my doctor with the great news was that the tumor had responded to chemo and had shrunk in size. In fact, it had shrunk a full...centimeter.

As elated as I should have been, my annoyance was palpable. This tumor is over 5 1/2 INCHES in size and after 8 weeks of misery it only shrunk 1 centimeter! Really?!? Come on…couldn't you have given me at least an INCH? I have been through 8 weeks of chemo; I took all the medicines, endured all the side effects, and worked hard to get through this...for a centimeter. I have spent hours thinking about that centimeter this weekend. How could a centimeter be worth all of the struggles that I have withstood so far? Once again, my lack of patience has emerged and with it came the unconstructive attitude about my current circumstances.

On Saturday morning my mom called to find out if I had heard anything from the doctors. I had been so disappointed with what I had heard that I had not let anyone know. When I told her the results, I was taken aback by her substantial relief she felt to know it was “good” news. Her daughter’s cancer had in fact stopped growing.

In my haste to think it was not “good enough” news, I had missed that fact that it still was good news. This centimeter that initially seemed so insignificant to me really was substantial. The centimeter will give my surgeon enough margins not to have to cut into my chest wall to eradicate the tumor during the mastectomy. The centimeter indicates the cancer responded to the chemotherapy enough to eliminate the concerns the doctor had of the further spread of the cells. One small centimeter meant the tumor was not increasing...and my chance of seeing my children grow up was. How could I have missed the substantial impact of that centimeter?

My impatience for challenges often blocks my vision of how it takes the small things to overcome the overwhelming obstacles we may face. How many times have I overlooked these small victories that would keep me motivated to accomplish the much bigger goals I have in mind? How many times did I not do those small seemingly insignificant things that would have led me to the greater reward?

We all face challenges in our lives. They come in many shapes and sizes. They may be personal or they may be professional. I hope this week you have the opportunity to recognize your own “centimeter” and can realize the significance of whatever small triumph you may have as a step toward your greater success. Remember as Vincent Van Gogh once quipped, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

Have a great week!